time to think

Finding God’s presence in your pain is definitely a hard thing to do. I think that the process of searching for God in the midst of the crap that you go through is important because it focuses your mind on asking God for his will instead of giving you time to complain about what you feel like God has you going through. I think that time is one of the greatest enemies of the mind when you are going through issues in your life. I can remember when my eye was at its worst about a year and a half ago and I was out of a job and had all the time in the world to sit at home and consider my life and how much I hated it. It was time that I had to consider suicide; it was time that I had to think about going blind and time to think about how much I was not providing for my family with finances. I know that I cannot give my mind time to think things that don’t line up with the word of God. The doctors don’t really think that the medication that they have me on is working and they want to have me go to St. Louis and get a needle stuck in my eye for a biopsy and see if it could be some kind of tumor or mass in my eye. I am listening to the doctors that I believe God has put in my life, but I also want to put my mind in a place of believing for God’s healing touch. Time is such a huge commodity in our lives and we need to think of how we spend it. If we don’t learn how to be stewards of the time that God has given us, we get caught making the mistake of giving the devil inroads to our minds and the ability to cause confusion in all areas of our lives.